


Because it's Thursday

by cuttlemefish



Series: Seven Days, or Thursday and Friday and Saturday and We Chilled on Sunday [1]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Accidental Baby Acquisition, Accidental Marriage, Alternate Universe - Demons, Comedy, M/M, fairytale AU, this trash is just for laughs, viktor is expecting the baby but it's an energy baby and there's no actual physical pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-29
Updated: 2018-05-29
Packaged: 2019-05-15 02:44:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14782160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cuttlemefish/pseuds/cuttlemefish
Summary: Heartbroken after the last Winter Solstice Banquet, Demon Prince Yuuri Katsuki calls for a meeting of the seven allied demon kingdoms so everyone can bear witness to his revenge against Demon Duke Viktor Nikiforov (for something Viktor can't even remember!). When Yuuri accidentally slaps Viktor with his left hand and gets them married, hilarity ensues as the two proceed to learn that they're also expecting a baby (in demon terms). The two try to deal with a solution that works for both of them and their baby, while pretending they're not in love. Also known as the insane crack fic born on Tumblr from a writer’s game mashing up two AUs – Fairytale AU and Accidental Marriage AU, that ends up being a comedy of errors with demons and babies. Completed one-shot.





	Because it's Thursday

**Author's Note:**

> This was born from this post: https://cuttlemefishwrites.tumblr.com/post/174339040904/victuri-51-25-d. I couldn't let the plot bunny die and so now we have almost 6,000 words of accidental marriage and baby fic in a demon realm with a happy ending, of course. This is all for fun.

**I. Thursday**

It all happened on a Thursday, because, well, _Thursdays_. Usually his family would send Makkachin to any Thursday meetings because those meetings were generally pointless, but this time the Katsuki clan had called for a very important meeting and no one was about to tell a Demon Prince backed by a Demon King that nobody had time for whims. So, imagine, then, a lonely meeting room on a _Thursday_ , housing representatives from the seven demon rulers from seven different allied kingdoms. Prince Yuuri has literally just entered the room like a hurricane and proceeded to slap the daylights out of Duke Viktor, who, apparently, “broke [his] heart at the Winter Solstice Banquet.” And so begins another meeting on a Thursday, with an accidental wedding—which is not too unusual from a Sunday five years ago when Princess Mila announced she had accidentally married Princess Sara. 

“Congratulations on your marriage,” Phichit sighs disinterestedly, after Yakov announces that the marriage is now official.

“What do you mean we’re married? He just slapped me in the face!” Viktor squawks, turning to Yakov with a completely horrified expression on his face. Yuuri sniffles, barely able to contain his tears as he stares defiantly at Viktor.

“With his left hand. It hit your right cheek. You reciprocated much like your proud ancestors would’ve by dropping a fork on the ground,” Yakov nods solemnly like it all makes perfect sense. Behind him, murmurs continue in awe from the rest of the room. Viktor isn’t even sure if this is allowed – are Demon lords allowed to marry each other? Do they each maintain separate lands or does that make space for another alliance?

“What?” Viktor continues because he has a number of questions, a big number of questions.

“I reject the marriage!” Yuuri yells, reaching for a spoon to raise it in the air. Everyone gasps, probably because the spoon is dirty—some “fat-free yogurt” or other nonsense clinging to its tip, which likely also has some meaning Viktor doesn’t know because he never paid attention to protocol class. They’re demons: How much protocol can there be?

Viktor swoons, feeling dizzy. 

“You can’t,” Minako explains, calmly taking the spoon from Yuuri’s hand. “You started the marriage proposal. Viktor has accepted.”

“I’m left-handed! This was an accident!” Yuuri cries even harder.

“Well, now you’re both married, idiots! So deal!” Lord Yuri of the Western Provinces yells so loud, a tornado sweeps through the background. Mila wraps an arm around Sara to guide her away from the whirl of dark air.

“How do we annul the marriage?” Yuuri sobs. 

“You must duel to the death,” Yakov says. 

“WHAT?!” Viktor squeaks, shaking his head.  

“Very well. I will pulverize him,” Yuuri nods to himself, accepting a handkerchief from Minako to dab at his eyes. With his free hand, he reaches for his magic staff. “I never thought I’d be a widow so young. But I will make your death exceedingly painful, Viktor, don’t worry. Songs will be made to remember your death, detailing in excruciating detail–.”

(And Viktor makes it a point to black out the detailed description of Yuuri decorating the ground with his innards.)

“What in the world? No, stop, what? He can’t do that. You wouldn’t let him do that, right? What happened to allyship? Yuuri, come on! I thought you liked me!” 

Lord Phichit shrugs, ignoring everything for his deadly hamsters. The smallest one opens its mouth and a pair of thick, long fangs snap out like a game of whack-a-mole. “Well. He  _is_  a Prince. What do you expect us lower-ranked to do? – And from what he says you broke his heart, jerk.”

“I don’t remember that! Mila, help me.”

Yuuri frowns, growing all the angrier until his entire aura is but a dark circle of deep blue and green. It’s like an angry bruise, blaring right at Viktor. “You don’t remember the banquet? The promises you made? How dare you!”

“I guess we’re going to war,” Mila shrugs, patting her wife’s hand. Sara nods. This is all perfectly normal for the Southern tribes; Sara comes from a long-line of warring demons. She’s a blood-thirsty as her wife. Peace and allyship have been but a nice reason to wear pretty dresses and accompany her wife to important meetings, even while she grooms their seven children on how to take over each of their lands. Viktor has always known Sara was a masterful strategist. “Have you my gold chains prepared?”

“Always, Mimi. What wife would I be to not have your armor prepared for when you need to crush some skulls? I’ll tell the children you honorably defended our lands; we will avenge you,” Sara says.

“You are all crazy! I invoke… do I have any marriage privileges?” Viktor scoffs.

“Well,” Phichit taps his chin. He opens his palm so one of his hamsters can give Viktor a fanged grin. “That depends. Are you pregnant?”

“What? NO!” Viktor gasps, looking around his space for any signs of pregnancy. He’d always assumed Yuuri would carry their babies— _wait a minute_. “I  _just_  got married.” – And no one can tell if that’s said more for his own benefit or everyone’s.

“Are you now accusing me of infertility?” Yuuri booms, eyes darkening into an ugly red. 

“Then we request a momentary delay in the death of Duke Nikiforov to ascertain he is not with child,” Phichit nods sagely. “We’re demons. Babies happen in very random, unpredictable ways. He could be ready to pop one out at any minute, given how long it has been since the Winter Solstice Banquet.”

“That would be dishonorable! If Prince Katsuki got Duke Nikiforov pregnant at the banquet, he _will_ answer honorably. The health of our alliance depends on it.”

Viktor looks horrified, “You mean only a baby will save me? – What kind of demons are we?”

Phichit laughs, “no, of course not! We’re demons, like you said. A baby’ll just delay your death. If I were you, I’d make this a very long pregnancy. Assuming you’re even pregnant…?”

“How would I even know! He _just_ slapped me!”

“With quite a lot of force, too. Surely, Prince Katsuki intended a fruitful and long-lasting marriage. Check your energy pools, Duke Nikiforov,” Sara recommends, ever the expert in the group having had seven children of her own. “Sometimes they hide at the very deep ends where the energy is darkest and most pure. Those are always a little more troublesome demons, but also very, very cute. All of ours have been deep births.”

Yuuri nods, studying Viktor, “I guess you do feel different. Perhaps it is a shallow-birth?”

Viktor looks at a loss. “I don’t even know how to _do_ that. But, also, if it’s my baby, it’s going to be the deepest baby ever. And, one more thing: Why am _I_ the one that would be pregnant? Why isn’t Yuuri pregnant?”

The whole room gasps. The very idea seems to insult Minako.

Yakov slaps Viktor in the back of the head. “Cheeky child. How dare you imply a Demon Duke could impregnate a Demon Prince? – Now search deep!”

Viktor closes his eyes and pretends he has some semblance of a clue about what he’s doing.

“You see anything?” Yuuri asks, softly. His energy has leveled, returning to an acceptable, dark-hued purple that mesmerizes Viktor.

“I do!” Viktor lies. “Just like Sara said. In the very deep end of the pool. The deepest.”

Sara arches an eyebrow, “Really? How developed is the energy field?”

“Uh. Smaller than a coin.”

“Bigger than the dot on single paragraph found within page?” Mila teases.

“Yes, yes, of course. How else would I see it?” Viktor nods, desperate.

“You’re about to go into labor any moment then,” Sara says pleased, eyes closed. Viktor completely misses the little grin on her face.

“What?” Viktor gasps. “No, no, I must have been wrong. Let me take another look!”

“Oh my god! I’m going to be a father?” Yuuri panics, turning to Minako. “I’m not ready!”

“No one ever is,” Minako pats Yuuri’s shoulder. “Take deep breaths. Go comfort Viktor now, as is your role as both spouse and parent, and try very hard not to kill him. Sometimes it is difficult for those of us at the higher levels to _not_ become territorial against our own.”

“Like hamsters. Sometimes they eat their young.” Phichit grins and sets a hamster on Viktor’s shoulder, “Congratulations on your baby, Duke Nikiforov.”

“So,” Mila pouts, “we’re _not_ going to war?”

Minako rolls her eyes, “No, child. We’re not. Now everyone take a seat. The Katsukis may have called the meeting, but we all have much to discuss—especially given the sudden joining of two kingdoms under a single heir.”

**II. Friday**

“You’re not really pregnant, are you?” Yuuri asks Viktor once they are both comfortably away from the dimension of the meeting room. As protocol dictates, Viktor, now married, must immediately go live with his spouse. Apparently, Yuuri has a nice little cozy palace opposite an active volcano that, every so often, smokes thick, dark circles that remind him of mushrooms. It’s supposed to be a nice place surrounded by mirror lakes and soft, dark violet-hued skies and a lot of violent, hungry, man-eating shrubbery. It’s so unlike Viktor’s home that he’s surprised when, instead, they go spiraling into the volcano itself. This is where Yuuri’s parents live.

“That depends on how quickly you intend to kill me if I respond in the negative,” Viktor gulps, “But, in all honestly, I do not know. I don’t know anything about energy pools or where demon babies hide; I can barely remember what I had for breakfast!”

“You didn’t have breakfast this morning,” Yuuri sighs, recognizing that Viktor is out of his depth. “I guess it does us no good for you to _not_ know. Perhaps we can figure it out once we see my parents. This is their home. Surely my mother will know. If not, at least my father will advise us on how to dissolve the marriage.”

“Either that or he will eat me.”

“Why would he eat you?” Yuuri frowns.

Viktor shrugs, “it’s what _my_ father would do with _his_ enemies. Our lands aren’t particularly impressive. We’re mostly ice and steam with frozen tundra on top of congealed methane. I suppose eating our enemies is both efficient and nutritious.”

“I’ve visited your lands. They’re very nice. The Winer Solstice Banquet was also very impressive.”

“You’re kind,” Viktor scoffs, wondering why he can’t remember seeing Prince Yuuri at the banquet. Surely, he wouldn’t have missed a moment to talk to the prince—and maybe that was his problem now, but he also wouldn’t just forget him, either. “A kind Demon Prince. You’re the same ranking as my father. What are you doing chasing after a mere duke?”

“If I went by ranking, the only one near my station in the allyship left single is Prince Yakov and—have you seen him?”

“Every day of my life,” Viktor sighs. “I don’t want to be pregnant, Yuuri. I’ve heard that energy babies are horribly painful. The worst. They rip through your energy pools like projectiles and come out a flaming pile of acid and I can’t deal with that. I really can’t.”

Yuuri nods, “that does sound horrible.”

“I also don’t want to die. Please.”

“You heard the other Allied Demons. Only the death of one can dissolve the marriage. I’m sure you don’t want to impose a marriage on us yet, either.”

“You also are at fault for us getting married in the first place, though! – Honestly, yes, we’re too young to get married, but I’m also too young to die.”

“T—this isn’t all my fault! What Demon doesn’t know to _not_ drop a fork after a marriage proposal?”

“What Demon doesn’t know how to _not_ propose in the first place?” Viktor’s voice breaks. “Look. Obviously, we’ve both made mistakes here. So, why don’t we just try to make the best of it? – There’s lots of strategic marriages that don’t amount to much more than some very elaborate and protocol-conscious friendships. And then you’d be free to marry, as would I, once we’re ready.”

Yuuri considers Viktor’s words: “That would dishonor me if you married someone else. Especially considering the banquet.”

“What happened at this banquet?!”

“If you don’t remember, I’m not telling you.”

Viktor pouts, crossing his arms, “Fine. Be immature like that. What type of example will you be to our potentially fake baby, huh?”

**III. Saturday**

Viktor hates himself.

Of course, he’s pregnant. Yuuri actually slapped a baby into him when they married—with so much strength that, apparently, Sara was right. He’s about to pop any day now. He prepares with the nervous aplomb of an ant unknowingly marching towards a boot. Yuuri must do the honorable thing and stay married to Viktor, who will be able to choose whether to raise the child in Katsuki Castle or whether to return back home. Viktor’s not sure he can return back home. His family would surely eat him.

“My father would eat the child, I tell you!” he panickily tells Mari, Yuuri’s sister, who never seems to speak, just smokes. She watches him amused. Apparently, Phichit was right. Marriage privileges that come with pregnancy are expansive – and Viktor has enough clout right now that he can even order Yuuri to stay outside of his room. So, Yuuri stays in the periphery, leaning against the corner of a wall. “Stop preying on me. I haven’t popped the child out yet. You’ll be the first to know so you can use your staff thing and—” Viktor makes an unceremonious _swoosh_ sound over his neck.

“I’m not going to kill you anymore, Viktor,” Yuuri rolls his eyes.

Mari chuckles, “Oh no. He’s probably just going to eat you.”

“I thought you said you didn’t do those things here!” Viktor cries.

“We don’t! _Mari!_ – I came to apologize. For everything.”

Viktor pouts, “Really?”

“Yes. And once you have the child, we will give you a plot of land of your own to develop here. We will do what you suggested first and maintain an amicable contract for our mutual benefit. And, when you’re ready, I will marry you properly to ensure the child has rights over both our estates.”

“You what?” Viktor sits from the shock. _That was not at all what he had proposed._ The Katsuki lands are stunning. Viktor could happily live here. But it’s also unrealistic to assume a Demon Prince is about to woo him. That’s the stuff of fairy tales. What does Viktor know of fairy tales?

“I will wait to marry you properly, when you're ready,” Yuur says shyly, wringing his hands together. It is all he can do to avoid making eye contact with Viktor.

**IV. Sunday**

Viktor wakes up to a baby crying. He panics and almost crushes the tiny body by rolling over. He’s all alone, except for the baby and its mess of limbs moving with a sticky, gel-like green substance, and he realizes that’s gelled energy. He slowly helps the baby feed, as his instinct seems to demand.

“So much for horror stories,” Viktor murmurs, surprised he didn’t feel a thing. No one comes to check on him at all. It’s almost noon when a servant stops by to offer him some tea and finds him poking at the baby’s cheek. The child is obviously a Katsuki, strong and quiet, with a deep pensive gaze and a lot of power. There’s so much energy in his tiny body, Viktor suddenly understands Phichit’s joke.

*

“You _slurped_ all of my servant’s powers?” Yuuri panics, pacing the bedroom wildly as he rocks the baby in his arms. “I had to send her to the human world!”

“It was either that or the child’s and I couldn’t do that to little Lysander,” Viktor cries. “I don’t want to be like a hamster.”

“One, demon parents don’t want to eat their young; Phichit got into your head and you reacted by punishing my poor servant. Two, Lysander?” Yuuri takes a step back. The baby stares back, cooing in confusion. “ _Really_? I was thinking more Takahiro.”

“T—takahiro? … Oh, oh my darkness, I love it,” Viktor smiles, suddenly feeling much better. “Lysander Takahiro Katsuki-Nikiforov. The world will envy you, little dragon tail! We will have to present him to the council, won’t we? – I don’t know when the next meeting will be, but Georgi will surely be backed-up for _weeks_ on robes. We’ll have to put in a request immediately. Surely he’ll put us at the top of the list. I’ll make sure of it.”

“I was thinking more like _just_ Takahiro, but that works, too,” Yuuri shrugs, sitting on the bed to inspect the child again. “He’s very purple, isn’t he?” – And, in fact, the child was _very_ purple, with the biggest pair of gorgeous brown eyes Yuuri had ever seen, barring the mirror, of course.

“That’s a family trait. He’ll outgrow it,” Viktor waves him off, unconcerned as he keeps tapping his bottom lip. “Okay, so robes, check. Why are you staring at him so much? He’s perfect; you’re going to give his ego a complex. He’s too young to develop an ego complex. Demons with ego complexes go on rampages at age 200. Is that what you want for little Lizzie?”

“What is it with you and lizard-related nicknames for our child?” Yuuri chuckles. “As promised, I have set aside some lands for you.”

“Is that safe? I know you said demons aren’t like hamsters, but I think it would be safer if we lived with you for a bit. At least until something suitable can be built in the lands,” Viktor says, pulling his long hair together to collect it all into a high ponytail. 

Yuuri nods, “nothing would please me more than to have you both there.”

**V. Friday**

“He sent Makkachin?” Viktor scoffs, shocked that his father hadn’t even gone himself to meet his grandchild and had instead sent Viktor’s beloved poodle to attend the meeting, as he was known to do for unimportant matters. As per usual, Yuuri pets the poodle happily. “Well, joke’s on him. I’m taking Makka with me.”

“You can’t just kidnap a representative of the council,” Yuuri warns his husband.

Viktor simply bounces Lysander Takahiro in his arms. Despite his newborn status, the baby looks considerably older—several months at least. His tiny hands reach at his silver robes, pulling unhappily. Yuuri can’t blame him. His son looks like a shiny, party eggplant, all purple with glittering clothing and a very bright green hat to represent greed and prosperity.

“Watch me,” Viktor tells him, already whistling to call Makkachin to sit by him on the Nikiforov clan’s seat. Yuuri sighs, following his husband to seat next to him.

“I see the Katsuki-Nikiforov clan has made it,” Mila grins with delight, slinking her way into the room in a bright red dress to match her hair. She sits easily, studying Yuuri and Viktor. “ _Delightful._ I’m glad to see you didn’t eat the little eggplant.”

Yuuri feels immediate relief that he’s not the only one who thinks his son looks like a vegetable: “Maybe if we take off the hat?” he thinks out loud, already plucking it off Lysander Takahiro’s head. “Much better.”

Viktor looks horrified, “How dare you! The shame. The tragedy. His own father taking off his symbol of greed and prosperity. I shall _never_ recover.”

“He looks like an eggplant! Even Mila said it!”

“He does,” Mila repeats.

“Shut up already!” Yuri huffs, spinning a ball of fire on his index finger.

“Settle down, children,” Minako scoffs, pinching both Yuuri and Viktor’s cheeks. “Teenage pregnancies. I tell you. Demons shouldn’t be allowed to have children until they are, at least, 2700 years old. These 1900 babies always think they’re ready. Come, little eggplant, let me inspect you.”

“He’s not an eggplant,” Viktor cries. But the baby goes willingly to Minako, who proceeds to wrinkle her nose and change him into a more sensible blue onesie. Viktor groans again, dropping his head against Makkachin’s to say, “only you understand me, dear friend.”

**VI. Tuesday**

Two months later and the baby _finally_ looks violet.

It’s like with every day, he fades into a shade of something more similar to peach. He has a hearty appetite, too, keeping Yuuri and Viktor in constant states of alert. For Yuuri, this new life with Viktor and Lysander Takahiro is exciting and new, and he cherishes every bit of it like he might lose it tomorrow. If he weren’t a demon, he would consider it heartbreaking and depressing; instead, it verges on the romantic.

“It’s your turn to feed him,” Yuuri tells Viktor, reading over some scrolls. They’ve taken to working together, with Viktor helping Yuuri with the estate and other special projects. Lysander Takahiro will usually play on the carpet in front of them. Now that he is bigger and has taken to toddling (an exceptionally quick development – _take that, Mila and Sara!_ ), it’s easier to keep him around, especially with Makkachin’s help. Viktor looks up from his own desk next to Yuuri’s; he’s spent all morning inspecting the construction of his new chateau. It’s not coming along well _again_. “I fed him this morning and I’m still low.”

“I fed him for lunch,” Viktor says, worried. “I don’t know that I can keep up with his appetite.”

“Well, we’re going to have to think of something. He’s hungry. Demon babies need a lot of energy, especially a Katsuki. I’ll see if Mari is willing to feed him.”

“No, no, I’ll do it,” Viktor sighs, taking his son onto his lap. “Little eggplant, this is really getting ridiculous, love. You should only be eating twice a day now.”

Yuuri smiles to himself at the nickname, watching as his son opens his mouth like a baby bird. He returns to work shortly after, focusing entirely on some plans Minako has sent him for consideration on how to properly annex the far-off, mountainous lands that evade them all.

**VII. Wednesday**

Three months later, Yuuri finds that Viktor seems to be in a panic. His ponytail flies behind him as he fusses over their son; it leaves something thick and heavy in Yuuri’s throat to watch him in shining silver robes, diamonds glittering all over, and the single black earring dangling from his right ear to show that he is married to a Katsuki. Their little eggplant is back in his silver robes, shining brightly to match. Lysander Takahiro looks confused, clutching tight to Makkachin’s neck as he watches their fathers talk quietly.

Viktor’s chateau is officially finished and he can now move in with Lysander Takahiro, but Viktor seems nervous about the whole thing, re-counting the dragons inside the cage again. Their son now looks just about two and a half, maybe verging on three. This is the time when demon babies’ growth begins to normalize. It will now take a considerable length of time for Lysander Takahiro to develop speech and magic and all the things that will make him a proud heir. Naturally, the baby toddles to Yuuri, holding tight to his pant leg.

“What’s wrong?” Yuuri asks, feeling equally nervous that he’ll be alone again. He tries not to play with his long, black cape.

“I think we’re missing one of Lysander Takahiro’s dragons,” Viktor announces, defeated. “I guess we cannot leave today!”

Yuuri tries to hide his smile, “Well, I suppose one more day won’t hurt. How about we take a walk in the moon flower garden? I hear they’re about to bloom and it is lucky to see them. Perhaps you will find the dragon afterwards. And, if not, at least we can enjoy a nice tea there; I hear it will storm – the lights show will be glorious for dinner.”

Viktor tries to look put-off, linking his arm with Yuuri’s to let him drag them both along to the gardens, “Very well. I suppose another day won’t hurt. Can we have the staff prepare for dinner a bit earlier tonight? – I think our little eggplant is beat for the day, he’ll want to sleep earlier than usual.”

**VIII. Thursday**

Something seems to go wrong every day of the week, thereafter.

Another dragon goes missing; Makkachin cannot find a favorite toy; Lysander Takahiro decides he will not move from Yuuri’s lap; Viktor accidentally invites Phichit to stay a couple of nights and cannot be a poor host and depart before him; and on it goes, until a week has passed, everything is packed, and Viktor seems incapable of making use of his new chateau.

“Another day won’t hurt,” Yuuri says each time good-naturedly, usually taking his family to visit somewhere on the grounds or for a meal. But, today, Yuuri can’t put it off any longer. He’d woken up to Viktor in his bed, his long hair and smooth back gracing his vision for the rise of the three Suns, and he’d made a decision for himself that he couldn’t keep protecting his heart this way. If Viktor was going to leave, it needed to happen now.

“I think you have everything,” Yuuri says this time, handing Viktor the cage with the four dragons. They flap wildly at the sudden jolting motion. “I’ve ascertained that Makkachin and Lysander Takahiro have everything.” – And Lysander Takahiro seems to preen at the mention of his name, asking Yuuri to pick him up by raising his little arms.

“My earring,” Viktor suddenly cries, touching his empty ear.

Yuuri flushes pink as he pulls it from his pocket in front of their servants, “You left it in my room last night.”

“Oh,” Viktor gulps, hard, and takes it back with a shaky hand. He clips it back on. “I guess this is it.”

Yuuri nods. He stoops down to hug his son.

“Until you’re ready,” he says, kissing Viktor’s cheek before helping him enter the carriage.

**IX. Sunday**

“No one is here from the Katsuki clan?” Phichit says, scandalized. “I wanted to see the little eggplant! I even brought him a hamster this time.”

“I thought his parents said no more pets,” Sara sighed, making circles over the table with her finger. “Is no one here from the Nikiforov clan either? – I swear Prince Nikiforov has yet to notice his son’s missing.”

“Well, Viktor took Makkachin,” Minako muses loudly. “So, I suppose he has assumed his son _is_ missing and now he also doesn’t have the dog to send. We will have to cancel today’s meeting. Without the Katsukis and the Nikiforovs present, we cannot reach consensus. Worry not, dear friends. I will speak to everyone at the upcoming Winter Solstice Banquet and remind them of their responsibilities.”

**X. Tuesday**

The Winter Solstice Banquet has always been Viktor’s favorite. Viktor hasn’t seen Yuuri in some days since the move, but he manages to put pride aside to call on him and decide a trip together will be best to ensure neither endure the wrath of Viktor’s family. It’s a _Tuesday_ , so they want to make sure everything is well lest their misfortune double during a long trip through one dimension into another.

Viktor dresses their little eggplant in purple, of course, and Yuuri, again, takes off the green hat meant to match Viktor’s green robes. He kisses his son’s head.

“Why do you insist in dressing him like a vegetable?” Yuuri groans.

“Why do you insist on taking away his symbol of prosperity?” Viktor huffs, crossing his arms. He doesn’t stop until Yuuri takes off his family crest ring and, fashioning a chain, dangles it around his son’s neck. Viktor doesn’t smile but looks pleased. It does fit their child to be so young and already bear a symbol of great power. Quietly and secretly, Yuuri also knows it appeases Viktor because now his father won’t even dream of eating Lysander Takahiro, not without incurring Yuuri’s wrath—Yuuri who is a younger demon, with a reputation and, now, an heir. “I suppose that is a fine replacement for now.”

Yuuri chuckles, reaching for Viktor’s hand to link their fingers together: “I’m not going to let anything happen to either of you. You can relax.”

“I’m not worried for me. I can take care of myself,” Viktor says, haughty even as he lets Yuuri pull him closer. “Now you need to be careful. I told you. My father loves to eat people.” – Apparently Viktor’s family haven’t even realized he’s been gone. They seem to accept the baby like he’s been there by Viktor’s side all along and Viktor’s mother even has the audacity to chastise Makkachin for missing _dinner_ , not even plural. But at least there are no threats of anyone being eaten, and they seem to silently decide it is better to leave the Nikiforov clan in the dark, especially when no one comments on Viktor’s marriage symbol.

**XI. Wednesday**

It’s on Wednesday that Yuuri realizes he’s made a very, very big mistake.

Viktor walks out from his bedroom dressed in a white suit with a light blue fringe of fur at the edges of his cape. As a Duke of his kingdom, he bears the insignia and the crest, with only the black earring of the Katsuki clan to confirm his new title. Behind Viktor, their son follows slowly, trying to make sense of the traditional clothes of Viktor’s lands. He looks confused, pulling at the robes with considerable unhappiness.

“Oh,” Yuuri says, trying to ignore the very strong sense of déjà vu that overcomes him.

It doesn’t stop, not for the entire day as Viktor pulls him towards the food table to have him sample special delights cooked from around his kingdom. Viktor feeds him by hand, letting Yuuri savor each treat. There’s champagne and mead and all types of drink that leave him thirsty with memories and remembrance and, suddenly, he begins to realize his big mistake.

It only gets worst when they detour together down the ice path to the geysers in the distance, leaving their son under the care of Minako, who has told them she has _words to say_ to both of them.

And it certainly only leaves him broken when Viktor, nervous, reaches for Yuuri’s hand and says, “I think we’re ready, don’t you?” – and begins to weave promises so familiar and real that they leave him a little heartbroken all over again. “Think about it,” Viktor finishes his confession, twiddling with Yuuri’s fingers. “I just, I think I’m ready. I don’t know if you’re ready. But I truly do think we could make a marriage work.”

**XII. Thursday**

The next morning, Yuuri pulls Viktor into the library while everyone begins to trek towards the main ceremony.

“You mean to tell me that you should’ve never slapped me in the first place because I didn’t break your heart and you mistook a vision of the future with present reality?” Viktor yells, growing progressively more angry and distressed as he tries to pry his hand from Yuuri’s hold. “Unhand me, you brute!”

“Viktor,” Yuuri worries at his bottom lip, “I said I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry does not cover for all the indignities you’ve made me endure! – Yuuri, you sought to embarrass me in front of the entire council!”

“I have made you a prince among demons, given you lands for your portfolio, handed you all you’ve ever wanted, and swallowed my own pride—which is terribly acidic, mind you—all for you, and I have made _you_ endure indignities?”

Viktor sniffles, “You threw me out of our own house!”

“You wanted to move!”

“I wanted no such thing. Would I have slept with you had I not wanted to stay?”

Yuuri deadpans, “then why pack?”

Viktor looks down at his shoes, “I was expecting you to ask me to stay, to say we were ready for a real marriage, as you promised to do. Instead, you deposited me into a carriage and sent me with our son somewhere else. Well, I suppose now that we know it was all just one big mistake, little eggplant and I will stay here, where we belong.”

“That wasn’t my intention, and you know this isn’t where you belong,” Yuuri whispers, looking marginally broken. “Viktor, come home. I’ll do anything. Please.”

Viktor considers Yuuri’s words, touching a finger to his earring, “Anything?”

**XIII. Wednesday**

It’s a _Wednesday_ , which means it’s going to be an interesting meeting. Midweek meetings are both relaxed and interesting all at once; usually, they bring with them plenty of juicy gossip. This one doesn’t disappoint as Viktor shows up wearing an impressive new wedding gift.

“And that’s how it happened,” Viktor squeals, showing off his even longer earring to an unimpressed Yuri and an equally elated Mila and Sara. Makkachin sits on the Nikiforov seat, listening patiently. The earring now loops like teardrops, ending like a chain with a ring on his finger. He pauses for a minute, looking around them to say, “Little eggplant, stop bothering the hamsters.”

Yuuri looks just a little embarrassed at the grandiosity of Viktor’s wedding symbol. He decides to turn his attention to his son, who walks over to Yuuri to ask to be picked up. It’s not even been a year since they were last here and his little eggplant came hungry and purple into the world. _How things have changed_ , he thinks.

“What are you doing, hmm?” Yuuri chuckles, bouncing his son, who is, thankfully, no longer purple like a vegetable.

“Anyway, so now we’re _expecting_ another baby!” Viktor clasps his hands together, grinning. “Neither of us has to carry it this time. We’ve made an energy pod. It was costly, but entirely worth it. Katsuki babies require far too much energy for a regular birth. This will ensure neither of us are ragged on the arrival of the new baby. Two under 300 is just too much, let me tell you. And, honestly, with new technology, why would anyone ever slap a baby into the deep end of an energy pool? – Primitive, I tell you.”

“Babies having babies, _I tell you_ ,” Minako gripes to Yakov, obviously annoyed by Viktor’s lack of reverence for traditional conception. Sara doesn’t seem to mind.  

 “Disgusting,” Yuri rolls his eyes, walking away. “Can we start with this stupid meeting already?”

Meanwhile, Phichit rests his chin on Yuuri’s shoulder, looking bored as he says, “congratulations on your baby. Again.”

**The End**


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